I’m sure we’ve all experienced at some point of feeling like we are stretched thin by trying to please others, I know I certainly have. Trying to help our children, our spouses, family members, friends, colleagues, can sometimes leave us feeling like there is not enough time in the day, and not enough of us to go around to keep everyone happy. But you know what, it’s okay. Yes, part of our purpose is to help other but it’s not our job to please everyone else and lose track of ourselves in the process.

While it’s natural to want to make everyone happy. And in all honesty, it’s amazing when we can help others and we should we can, but trying to please everyone can have negative effects on us if we let it consume us. Here are some negative effects that can happen if you always try to please everyone else and lose focus on or consideration of yourself:

1. Stress and exhaustion: Constantly trying to meet everyone’s expectations can stress you out and make you tired. It’s mentally and physically draining to handle many demands and keep everyone satisfied.
2. Losing yourself: When you focus on pleasing others, you might forget about your own needs, wants, and values. You could end up not being true to yourself and giving up on your personal goals.
3. Making inconsistent decisions: Trying to please everyone means making choices based on what others want, not necessarily what you believe in. This can lead to confusion and uncertainty about your own path in life.
4. Missing personal growth opportunities: When you focus solely on pleasing others, you might miss out on chances to grow and improve yourself. Putting others’ needs first can hinder your own development and limit your experiences.
5. Unfulfilled personal goals: Constantly catering to others’ expectations can prevent you from pursuing your own dreams and goals. This can leave you feeling unfulfilled and regretful about unachieved personal aspirations.

Obviously helping others is great to do, but it’s important that we don’t lose ourselves in the process. So how do we focus on ourselves but also have a focus on helping others too you may ask?

Here are some considerations for working to maintain a healthy balance between helping others while also having time to focus on yourself.

1. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries that define your limits and the amount of time, energy, and resources you can devote to helping others. Communicate these boundaries openly and respectfully, and learn to say “no” when necessary. By setting boundaries, you ensure that you have time and energy for your own needs and prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed.
2. Prioritize your goals: Identify your personal goals and aspirations. Make sure you allocate time and resources to pursue them. By focusing on your own goals alongside helping others, you maintain a sense of fulfillment and personal growth.
3. Seek support and delegate: Recognize that you don’t have to do everything on your own. Reach out to friends, family, or support networks when you need assistance. Delegate tasks and share responsibilities when possible. Building a support system allows you to help others while also receiving the support you need.
4. Consistently work on your time management skills, and always be on the look out for time savers when possible. For more on that, check out my episodes called Proper Planning and Use Time Wisely.
5. Reflect on your motivations: Regularly reflect on why you want to help others and ensure that your motivations are genuine and aligned with your values. It’s essential to help from a place of empathy and compassion rather than seeking external validation or trying to please everyone. By staying true to yourself, you can maintain a healthy balance between helping others and taking care of your own needs.

Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish—it enables you to be in a better position to help others effectively and sustainably. Finding the right balance between helping others and prioritizing your own well-being is key to creating a positive impact in both your life and the lives of others.